I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
