SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
