Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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