The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
