I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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