I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
