I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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