hell yes lets make some ravioli
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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