Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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