Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So drunk its hurt
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
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