If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's blow job season.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize