So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
