Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I am available for nakedness
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
