dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
