you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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