we have officially lost it.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize