its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
