On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
