We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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