All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
