i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so let's talk penis.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
