Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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