"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
this boner is exhausting
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she pinky promised me she was 18
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
