the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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