Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize