I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize