Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
