You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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