Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
