Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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