on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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