So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
