i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
