I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
