take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
