I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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