My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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