Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize