there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize