No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
