sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
