Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize