Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
