Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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