Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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