so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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