Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
