My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This baby is an asshole
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
