I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
