I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
