we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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