you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
