we're blogging at a bar
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
