I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
