So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
