I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
they're like a gay fantastic four
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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